CHALLENGES....

It’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged a proper entry….so here it is…

Work….has been terrible. I don’t find it tough neither do I find it challenging. Doing nothing and staring into space is not I call work. I tried to contribute but most of the time, I feel that I’m not needed there. Many people know that I take work seriously and I don’t slack. I expect something that can be beneficial for my future use but it’s more worse than what I experienced . I fear that it’ll affect my review badly and I really need someone to pull me up.

I know that it’s only the first year but first impression really counts. You know, it’s just the first year and I’m starting to drag work. The reason?? I have no work to do. I’m willing to learn even though it’s out of what I specialize in. I’m a woman, I know, and I dress nicely and even wear make-up to work, but that doesn’t mean I’m fragile. What matters is that I’m willing to get down and dirty and that I have the experience to get my submissions done on time.... I don’t really care…as long as I’ve got a good impression...

Challenge is my life. I’ll die of boredom if I live in slack everyday. It defeats the purpose of being a designer.

I’m starting to walk towards the future. I’ve only a year and a half to plan on what I’m going to do with my life. For now, I’m going to learn how to drive and to get my license by the end of the year. Insya’Allah…. I’m also taking in some advice from the elders and professionals on where should I start.

For now, I’m hanging on the line. I know I have a bright future but the pathway to that future is so dim that I can’t see the direction I’m going.

The relationship that I’m in now, is a huge challenge for me. Like every other woman, I treasure my relationship. It’s something that gives me many-many good things in life like happiness, pleasure and love. But what makes it challenging is that I’m the one maintaining it. I’m the one leading it. But…I don’t want the power. I just want to be the follower for at least that part of my life….

Our relationship challenged my patience. Well, I naturally do not have a high level of tolerance and patience. Because of the faith and love that I have for him, and him only, I’m willing to learn to tolerate the type of person he is. Although I have my bursting periods and that there was even a time when I really thought that I can’t take it anymore, I know that I can’t stand to lose someone who has been a part of my life for so long. Someone whom I admire for sooo many things. Someone whom I’ve developed deep emotional feelings for. Someone who’s already like my the other half.... but.... the only mistake "I" did... was didnt move smartly.... didnt take it tht serious..... and due to which had to face many problems.... for which v had to part.........

Now, being apart is what I hate most. We live so near yet we are always so faraway from each other. He’s either too busy or too tired. It’s not like as if I’m too free or that I’m not tired. Being too busy or tired doesn’t mean that you have to segregate yourself. I’m willing to sacrifice my rest, even when I’m exhausted, just to be with him or that just find a time you know, for whatever it is. We have phones, internet and all the high tech stuffs to enable us to communicate everyday. but somehow.... the fear of being caught again...... and ofcourse he is right..... dont wanna screw up his life nemore........
But being in love is pleasure. It is not some sort of work that needs so much of maintanance and attention. Love is natural. Love is selfish and you only share it with the person you love. For love, you would sacrifice anything, even something as precious as time….... then y he wants me to forget him............???
FOR THIS IS THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF MY LIFE TO FORGET HIM.......... which is not even next to impossible.... but a complete NO for me......